to B or not to B

workaholics - they dream of achieving big things, invest tremendous effort n time on upgrading themselves for the sake of career advancement. their lives seem to b defined by their career achievement. gfs are but a small part of their lives. do not dream of "talking" to these during office hours, when they r at work.

my dad was a man like this, tho not really that constantly upgrading himself but a workaholic who spend LOTS of time at work. i grew up with very little of his presence in my life. his career took a frog leap during the first 20 yrs of my life. when me or any of my siblings fell sick, my mum is the one who brought us to see the doctor. dad would come home after 10 pm, and leave for work at 8 am in the morning.

in fact when i was in primary n secondary school, i remember spending many sundays at parkway parade, tanjong katong complex (they had yokoso there then) and city plaza with my mum and my younger brothers waiting for my dad to finish work at around 4 pm... those r Sundays, mind u. by the time i was a teenager, i was screaming for attention and rebelled against my mum, always wanting to come home later than my curfew. i remembered there was once i stayed at the chua chu kang McD's til 10+ at nite, which was tantamount of sinning against one of the ten commandments at the age of 15. my dad drove there, and with no exchange of words i got on the car. but i distinctly remember feeling a sense of joy, to have my dad come fetch me home. mayb i was really jus seeking for his attention.

we exchange few words, my dad and i. my mum was the kind of woman who would serve him from head to toe, but he's v good to her. afterall, how many housemakers get to drive a brand new rx300?

sometimes i ask myself, am i ready to marry someone like my dad, who is always busy? it's not impossible to hold a r/s like that? as my parents have proven, but it wud b nice to have a husband who is actually present in the house - altho at what cost, and a marriage like this is hardly possible today what with so many temptations at the workplace... so how? can i really accept a workaholic who hardly has time to shower attention on me?

or would i rather spend my life with someone who has time for me, holds a 9-5 day job but little chance for any big breaks in his career?

do we really have to make such painful decisions? we reap what we sow... if we spend 80% of our time at work, shd we b complaining that we have an unfulfilling marriage or family life? or vice versa? it's always easy to say "balance is the key", if it is so easy to maintain balance, what the heck m i writing abt now?